


The Different Outcome

by lesbianmulders



Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: 5X16 AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, How Do I Tag, Kinda, i think, my first Bones fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianmulders/pseuds/lesbianmulders
Summary: The world ended on a late Thursday evening.Not literally, of course. The Earth never left its orbit, the stars remained in the sky, and the sun would still rise the next day. But it was just like Sweets said - they’d kissed, and the dam broke. Five odd years of working together, five years of an unlikely friendship and unconditional trust, and it all came down to this, somehow. And all anyone could do was stand there and watch it all crash and burn.
Relationships: Seeley Booth/Temperance Brennan
Kudos: 33





	The Different Outcome

**Author's Note:**

> \- this was my first time writing for bones. i wrote this for my friend in may??? i think  
> \- i also haven't used ao3 since like,,,, 2017 so i kinda forgot how things work  
> \- i borrowed some dialogue from 5x16. if you recognize it, it's probably from there.  
> \- do people still do disclaimers? if yes: i don't own the show or the characters etc etc etc  
> \- okok that's it i hope y'all like <3

The world ended on a late Thursday evening. 

Not literally, of course. The Earth never left its orbit, the stars remained in the sky, and the sun would still rise the next day. But it was just like Sweets said - they’d kissed, and the dam broke. Five odd years of working together, five years of an unlikely friendship and unconditional trust, and it all came down to this, somehow. And all anyone could do was stand there and watch it all crash and burn.

Special Agent Seeley Booth and Doctor Temperance Brennan stood face-to-face in front of the Hoover building. A heavy silence hung between them, filled with concealed emotions and things left unsaid. 

Sweets’ words echoed in the back of Booth’s mind.  _ “You’re the gambler. It’s gotta be you. For once, make that work for you.” _

He took a breath, then spoke.

“I’m the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance,” he paused, watching Brennan’s reaction. A million different emotions flickered in her eyes. Love, maybe. Trust, definitely, but mostly fear. Uncertainty. It seemed so unfamiliar, so out of place to him, that he was almost ready to take it all back. To stop talking, to give her some kind of reassuring smile, to let her forget and move on. Anything to return her usual confidence. He opened his mouth to tell her as much, but instead what came out was, “Look, I wanna give this a shot.”

He held his breath. Her eyes widened. She stared at him for a few long seconds, before finally replying.

“You mean us?” He nodded, and he could’ve sworn he saw her eyes fill with tears. “No, the FBI won’t let us work together—“

He was quick to interrupt. “Don’t do that! That is no reason—“

He trailed off. Slowly, he took a step towards her, leaning in. They were mere millimetres apart now, a little further and—

“No! No!” She exclaimed. He felt her hands on his chest, shoving him away. He stumbled back, taking a moment to regain his footing. There was no denying the tears in her eyes now.

“Why?  _ Why? _ ” He questioned, stepping towards her again, but this time she stepped back, keeping that same cold, hard distance between them.

“You thought you were protecting me, but you’re the one who needs protecting!” Her voice trembled, rising in volume as she spoke. That uncertainty he’d seen earlier was especially obvious to him now, along with something much,  _ much  _ more familiar - anger.

“Protecting? From what?” He asked, slightly bewildered. I’m  _ the one who’s supposed to protect  _ you, he thought. 

He watched her falter for a moment, her eyes flickering between his face and the ground. 

“From me. I…” She paused, and he wondered if she was even going to finish whatever it was that she was trying to say. “I don’t have your kind of open heart.” 

A whisper, almost. Once again, he felt like he was seeing something he wasn’t meant to be seeing, because his Bones doesn’t whisper, and she doesn’t avoid eye contact, and her voice certainly doesn’t shake when she speaks. For a moment, he was stunned into silence. There were tears in his own eyes now. Only she could have that effect on him.

He wanted to argue with her. To disagree. To reassure her, to tell her that he thinks - no, that he  _ knows  _ \- that that’s not true. He wanted to reach out to her, to offer some kind of comfort, maybe, but he knew her well enough to know when to give her space. So he did none of those things. Instead, he took a deep breath, before speaking again.

“Just… Just give it a chance, that’s all I’m asking—“

This time, she was the one to interrupt him.

“No, you said it yourself, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome!” Her voice grew louder until she was practically screaming at him. The anger from before had returned, and he could almost see her putting her walls back up. The walls he’d spent years breaking down, getting her to trust him, to open up to him. He had to  _ do something, anything,  _ before he lost her completely.

“Well then let’s go for a different outcome!” He retorted, but that seemed to only make her angrier. She stepped towards him, and he tensed, worried that he was about to get slapped again, but she did no such thing. 

“And which outcome would that be?”

“Look, Bones, just think about it! Think of those old married couples, the ones that have been together for thirty, fourty, or fifty years. And it’s always the guy that says ‘I knew,’” He paused, holding his breath. He was pretty sure she was holding hers, too.

“I knew, Bones. From the very first day. I knew.” His voice tapered off until it became a mere whisper. She opened her mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again. He waited for her to say something, but she just stared at him, letting the silence hang around them. He held her gaze, waiting. 

Then, suddenly, it was like something snapped. The look on her face changed from confusion to anger. Her whole body was suddenly more tense. Booth felt a chill run down his spine as she glared up at him.

“Booth, I can’t! I can’t take the risk!”

“Why? What is it that you’re so afraid of?”

They were both shouting now, entirely unbothered by the fact that anyone in the general vicinity would be able to hear them.

“I can’t risk our friendship! I can’t risk losing our trust, our partnership! And, I mean, surely the FBI has some rule against this kind of thing. What if I get fired because of this? What if you do?  _ Then  _ what _?”  _

“So what if we get fired! There’s more to life than this job, Bones! We can look for jobs elsewhere, or if you’re really that concerned, we can keep it a secret! No one else has to know! Please, this can work! We can make it work! Please, Bones, let’s make it work!” He’d hoped that maybe, by some miracle, he’d managed to convince her. Then again, she’s never been one to be easily convinced.

“Booth, I told you, I can’t!”

“Yeah, you told me! I just don’t understand  _ why!” _

“You want all these things! The marriage, the family! Our beliefs, they don’t line up! And I can’t change! I can’t! I don’t know how!”

“Bones, no, don’t do that! I’d like to have all those things, yeah, but I can do without! Just give it a chance! Please!”

“Booth, I can’t give… Look, it doesn’t matter. The reasons don’t matter. I refuse to take any of that away from you. This - whatever it is - will never work, okay? So just drop it! And let me go home!”

“Bones!”

“Booth!”

And that was all it took. He wasn’t sure what it was, really, that compelled him to take the step, but it just felt right. Leaning forward, he closed the small gap between them, pressing his lips to hers. 

For a moment, she was completely still. Frozen in shock, maybe. He could taste salty tears on her lips, and he felt a small pang of guilt. He’d never wanted to make her cry. And then her hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, and the sensation left as quickly as it came. He was kissing her, and she was kissing back, and it was arguably better than any kiss he’d ever given or received. Better than mistletoe and pool houses in the rain. No, it was the type of kiss that made him go weak in the knees, the type of kiss that made his head spin and his fingertips tingle. He could only hope it would have the same effect on her.

They clung to each other with desperation, channeling their anger into passion. He parted his lips, deepening the kiss, when she suddenly pulled away. Both of them gasped for air, never breaking eye contact. He was about to pull her in again, when she let her hands drop from where they rested on either side of his face. The anger was back in her eyes, and she spun on her heel, walking away from him. He stared at her retreating form in shock for a few moments, before finally coming to his senses.

“Bones!” He called out, jogging to catch up to her. “Where are you going?”

“Home,” she snapped at him, without even turning back to look at him.

“Bones, wait! I drove you, remember?” He was really grasping at straws now, but he just couldn’t let her go. 

“Yeah, I remember. I’m calling a cab.”

“ _ Bones!” _ he tried again, but his only reply was the echo of his own voice as Brennan turned a corner and vanished from his sight.  _ Just like last time,  _ he thought.

He reached into his pocket, fumbling around for his car keys. Slipping a finger into the keyring, he let them dangle in front of his face for a moment. He watched them swing back and forth, clicking together, as he recalled the countless conversations he’d had with her while driving. 

Would he ever have such a conversation with her again?

Or did his rabid insistence break whatever connection they had, to the point where it was now beyond repair?

“ _ I don’t have your kind of open heart.” _

His hand shook, and the keys slipped from his grasp, clattering onto the floor. He crouched down to pick them up.

_ If she were here, she’d probably laugh at me,  _ he thought. Slowly, he stood and glanced one more time around himself. His eyes lingered on the place where they’d argued. The place where he’s bared his soul for her to see.

The place where they’d kissed. 

Where there were once two, now stood only one.

And just like that,  _ his  _ world ended. 

—

Brennan’s hands shook as she fumbled with the keys to her apartment. And it was all Booth’s fault. Him and his… confession? Whatever it was, if his objective had been to turn her rational, scientific world upside-down, he’d succeeded. She smirked to herself. She could feel her resolve slowly starting to crumble. Whatever facade she’d put up all these years was very quickly chipping away - and it  _ has  _ been chipping away, ever since the day Seeley Booth walked into that interrogation room at the airport.

She’d never been one to trust easily, and he was no exception, not at first, anyways. But he’d put up a fight, and slowly, day by day, piece by piece, she’d let him in. He knew her better than anyone. He was her best friend, and although he’s never really confirmed it, she was almost certain that she was his. She trusted him with her life, and he trusted her with his.

And yet, somehow, she couldn’t quite bring herself to trust him with her heart. 

It was irrational, she knew that much. She’d be willing to put her life on the line for him and yet she’d been quick to run from him at the very mention of something more than just partnership between them.

Pushing the door open, she stepped into her apartment. She pulled the door closed behind her, slamming it with what was maybe a little more force than necessary, then turned to lock it. She let the keys drop onto the console table, but made no move to take off her coat, not yet. 

The day’s events replayed themselves in her mind. Sweets’ book, her and Booth recounting the tale of their first meeting, Booth’s confession outside the Hoover building, their kiss…

She pressed her back flush against the door, suddenly breathless. Closing her eyes, she let herself slide down to the ground, bringing her knees up to her chest. 

The kiss.

For once, she was having trouble getting her thoughts in order. 

It was a good kiss, there were no doubts in her mind about that. In fact, she might even consider it the best kiss she’d ever shared with anyone, although such a thing couldn’t be quantified or objectively compared to another. Maybe quantification didn’t matter here. It was a good kiss - a really,  _ really  _ good kiss - and she was willing to leave it at that. 

Shaking her head, she let her thoughts drift back to her and Booth’s conversation. His persistence, although infuriating, was also somewhat touching. His belief in unconditional love and beautiful romance stories and marriage proposals was somewhat fascinating to her; and although she didn’t share in many of his beliefs, she’d always found it almost endearing that even with all the horrors the two of them had bore witness to, he still managed to believe in the good. 

Maybe that’s why she’d been unwilling to risk it.

Booth was a heart person. Emotional, able to connect with people on a personal level. Trusting of his feelings. Big on faith, big on hope. All these things that, to Brennan, seemed strange and at times illogical. So maybe he felt something for her. Lust, probably - there’s no denying human biology. Infatuation, most likely. Love?

Maybe.

It’s not like he’d ever said anything, not really. There were hints dropped here and there, but no outright statement. Nothing straight-up. Nothing tangible, nothing quantifiable. 

Then again, it’s not like she’d ever said anything either.

She couldn’t deny that there was something between them. Something other than their friendship and partnership, something more than simple trust. But love, the love that he’d always described to her, that was something she’d never experienced herself. She’d had boyfriends and close friends, and there was no doubt in her mind of her parents’ affections towards her growing up; but the all-consuming, unconditional, be-all-end-all love was something foreign to her. Booth’s descriptions made it sound beautiful. But they also made it sound like an emotion, and maybe that was what scared her.

Emotions, she’d learned, are subject to change. At the blink of an eye. One moment, you’re laughing, the next, you’re crying, and the next, you’re yelling at someone. 

These thirty, fourty, or fifty years he’d mentioned - how could he be so sure that anything could possibly last that long without change?

There would be no guarantees. 

It’s not like she’d never considered being in a romantic relationship with him. They’d kissed on their second day of knowing each other. He always seemed to be hinting at something, what with the casual touches and the flirty remarks, but she wasn’t sure how to read them. For all she knew, she was wildly misinterpreting everything. 

That day when he’d ‘rescued’ her from the airport, she’d asked him for full participation in the case. He’d agreed.

_ “You want me to spit in my hand? We’re Scully and Mulder.” _

_ “I don’t know what that means.” _

And she really didn’t know what it meant, but Google is free and she liked to do her research. 

If that’s what he expected of her and their partnership, well, she wasn’t so sure that she could deliver.

Booth had all these… plans. Marriage, a house with a white picket fence, an average of 2.5 children and a dog, church on Sundays. The perfect family. The perfect wife. The perfect thirty, fourty, or fifty years. 

She wasn’t completely against children. And she liked dogs. And a large house would be nice.

And what wouldn’t she do for Booth? He  _ was  _ her best friend. If he really,  _ really  _ wanted to get married, she’d do it for him. Hypothetically speaking, of course.

The only real problem was, well,  _ her. _

She didn’t understand people the way he did. She didn’t see their emotions the way he could. Hell, she wasn’t sure how to express what she, herself, was feeling half the time. And she wasn’t sure if she had to change for him.

Maybe he didn’t want her to.

Slowly, she pulled herself to her feet, brushing the dust off her coat. She reached for the belt around her waist, ready to untie it and hang it up. And then, she froze, fingers still holding onto the knot. 

He was her best friend, and she’d run out on him.

He bared his soul to her, and they’d kissed, and then she left him there, wondering.

Really, she’d left herself wondering too.

And maybe now, he’ll never want to speak to her again. Maybe her rejection had angered him. Maybe she’ll walk into her office to find his resignation letter on her desk, or maybe she’ll find nothing at all and simply never hear from him again. Or, maybe, he’ll find some blonde girl somewhere, at the FBI, maybe, and maybe he’ll start bringing her along on cases, and maybe he’ll slowly start to replace her. Maybe she’ll never get to argue with him about who gets to drive, and maybe he’ll never correct another one of her attempts at colloquialisms. 

Maybe no one will ever call her ‘Bones’ again.

Maybe she’ll never get to tell him that she loved him.

And there it was.

She loved him.

The realization almost shocked her. Almost.

Despite everything she’d spent almost six years telling herself, she loved him. No matter how much she’d tried to deny it in front of everyone, including herself. She loved him. So what if love wasn’t a quantifiable property. Maybe she could make an exception, just this once. 

Just for him.

She thrust an arm out, swiping her keys off the console table. She had to know that everything was going to be okay, that they were still partners, that he wasn’t going to walk out on her. 

She fumbled with the chain on her door, then the lock, until she finally yanked the doorknob full-force. 

Only to come practically nose-to-nose with none other than Seeley Booth himself.

He stood, slightly disheveled-looking, on her doorstep. A little bit out of breath, kind of as if he’d just run up a flight of stairs. Her eyes flicked to the ‘out of order’ sign on the elevator in the hallway behind him, and she realized that that was probably exactly what he’d done.

“Bones,” he almost whispered, voice quiet and full of emotion, and she silently stepped aside to allow him entry. He walked in, gently closing the door behind him. He studied her face for a moment, and she studied his. He slowly reached for her, perhaps intending to lay a hand on her shoulder, but she surprised him by stepping forward and wrapping both arms around him. She pressed her face into his broad chest, and he was quick to embrace her, holding her close. She didn’t even realize she was crying until she felt moisture on his shirt. Gentle fingers combed through her hair, and he rubbed soft circles on her back in an attempt to soothe her.

They stood like this, simply holding each other, until Booth finally spoke.

“Listen, Bones, about what I said earlier. I—“

She tensed. He was going to take it back. Just as she was ready to tell him, he was going to take it back. She gently shoved him off, stepping back to give him some space.

“You didn’t mean it? That’s okay, I, uh, I get it. I mean...“ she trailed off, trying to recover from the brief moment of weakness. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“What? No, that’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say that I meant what I said, but I also understand if you’re not ready, or if you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. I think you—“

“I love you!” She blurted out, shocking him into silence. They stared at each other, her in anticipation and him in open-mouthed awe.

“You… what?” He eventually asked, voice slightly hoarse. Brennan took a deep breath, steadying herself.

“I love you,” she repeated, quieter this time. Less shaky. Booth just continued staring. “And I understand that maybe it’s not what you meant, but I just thought that maybe I should just say it already, because—“

She was cut off by his lips against hers.

Their kiss was gentler this time around, less angry, more soft and loving. When they broke apart, she tried to step away, eager to get a bit of distance between us, but Booth held her in place. He was grinning at her, that irresistible grin of his that she adored so much.

“Bones,” he said, “I always thought I’d be the one saying that to you.” 

“So—“ she started to say, but he pressed a gentle finger to her lips to shush her.

“Bones, I love you too,” he continued, the grin never leaving his face. She gave him a smile of her own.

“I think I should tell you, that, uh, if you really want all those things, like getting married and all that, I would… consider doing it, For you,” she added in a hurried whisper. Booth shook his head.

“I told you Bones. I don’t need any of those things as long as I have you. I mean, if you want to get married, I’m all for it, but I don’t want you to change for me. I fell in love with you just the way you are,” he replied, and Brennan stepped forward to kiss him again. She cupped his cheek with the palm of her hand, drawing him closer, and he responded, kissing her back.

When they finally broke apart for air, he pressed his forehead to hers so that their noses were practically touching.

“And Bones,” he whispered, looking deep into her eyes, “You do have an open heart.”

She said nothing in reply. She simply smiled at him, and he smiled at her, and they stood there, breathing each other in.

The world ended on a late Thursday evening, and was reborn on an early Friday morning.

Their lips met again.

**Author's Note:**

> \- thank u mei for helping me edit!!!!! love u <3


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